October 7, 2008
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Thinking about abortion and rape
When I was in college I knew a woman who was, at the time, in her late sixties. She was a tough old cookie with a brusque manner that completely put me off the first time I met her. But as I got to know her, I found that she was a really wonderful person – kind hearted, thoughtful and delightfully funny in a dry way.
Once, when I was visiting her, we stayed up late, talking, and she told me the story of her life. She’d had some rough times. Her husband died, leaving her with two little children to support, but she fought hard to become the first woman admitted to an accounting program at a nearby university.
Then, one night, a family friend took her out on a date. He pulled the old “car ran out of gas” on a deserted country road and when she wouldn’t give in to his advances, forced himself upon her. Even worse, she became pregnant. She knew that in those days nobody would ever believe that it was rape, and with school on the line, and children to take care of, she was trapped.
So she found a doctor. She scoffed at the idea of “back alley” abortions when she told me about it. There was no need for anything like that. It was all completely up to date, as far as medical procedures went, even if it wasn’t legal.
But she told me that it was the worst decision of her life, and she thought of that child every day.
Every day, thirty, forty years after the fact.
She was a Christian. She’d repented and been forgiven, as far as that goes. But I’ve heard a few people going on about Palin’s stance against abortion in cases of rape and incest being so extreme and I thought I’d just put out the opinion of one person who’d actually been through it.
It was the wost decision of her life.
Comments (7)
Thanks for sharing that. The thing is, it’s still a life. No matter how it got started. It’s a horrible, awful way to conceive, and some feel that the baby would remind them of what happened, but for the Christian they must remember God is still in control. God can turn even horrible things like that into beautiful things, if we trust in Him and do what’s right. And in her case, there is the wonderful truth that God DOES forgive the repentant. Completely.
Re your comment: Glad you’re moved in & so much unpacked, well done! I hope you’re having better weather than we are. The Lord’s Day we had some sun but other recent days have been cloudy & rainy. I’m not trying to complain, but it does get just a bit dreary…
This article mentions the following study:
“The
group cites one of the only studies done on women who became pregnant
from sexual assault showing that nearly 80 percent of the women who
aborted a pregnancy conceived in sexual assault reported that abortion
had been the wrong solution. The
study, done in 1995 and published in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders
finds most women who had abortions said that abortion only increased
the trauma they were experiencing.”
when i was in high school, i had a similar conversation with a lady in her late thirties. she said the same thing – that it was the worst decision she’d ever made – and her baby wasn’t the result of rape. at the time of her abortion, she was just entering college and was from a catholic family who just wouldn’t approve. she, too, thinks about that baby all the time. i think having a conversation like that at that age made a huge impact on me regarding children. i’ve never been one to believe that abortion is right in any circumstance, but that’s just me.
@miller_schloss - Thanks for the statistic. I know my experience is just one story, and someone else could just counter with another anecdote, or their own opinion. But 80% is really high, and a good number to be able to quote.
This is a personal issue for me as well. I have experienced abortion, I was 15, lied to my parents, many ugly details I will presently omit but they are there in my memory bank. I do regret. And I have a nephew the same age, so that is extremely hard. But what might have been? I don’t know, but looking back at some of the hardships I experienced in the years that followed, my poor life choices could be due to that trauma. Now I seek forgiveness and have come to terms with the fact that I cannot change the past. God is in control of my life, and He was back then as well. So I mustn’t live with regret. I live with thankfulness that I got a second chance to be a parent and blessed with a boy and a girl. Now I live my life for Christ and teach my children the same. My husband also was touched by abortion of a girlfriend many years before we met. So we both have been blessed by the Lord’s mercy and grace now to have a second chance. I don’t even know if I am pro-life or pro-choice, just that every circumstance is different to the person experiencing it. Justified or unjustified, there is forgiveness is you seek it.
Lynda
Hey, Danielle! Yeah, it’s wonderful for family devotions. But I think personal devotions is so important too. Just having that time to be “alone” with God and develop my personal relationship with Him.
I either do it before the kids get up, or if I miss that chance, then I have them all be quiet and I go up to my room and do it!! If I don’t, I feel less close to God throughout the day, less focused on Him.
Love you!!